Life, Love & Relationships.

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By D. LeClairSunday July 24th, 2011If only…If only it was as easy to believe the positive others say, as it the negative. If only…If only people got married because they loved each other. Love is the foundation of marriage. You shouldn’t get married just because you’re pregnant. Having a baby doesn’t create love, you must have that first. You should get married to someone because you love them and you want to spend your life with them. You should get married because you cannot live without them. You shouldn’t get married for money, because the person raises your social status or because your Brother, Sister, Friends or Family are married (some twice), so you feel like you have to. If only…If only people had children because they wanted to have a family to love. You shouldn’t have children just because you’re married. You should have children because you want to have a family to love and care for and because you want to see yourself outside of yourself. You should have children because you want to continue your family, and leave a piece of yourself behind when you die. You shouldn’t have children just because you’re married, or you want to “hold” somebody down to you. To keep them from leaving you or being with somebody else. Don’t have children because they make the amount of your “monthly cheque” go up, or your Brother, Sister, Friends or Family have a child (some more than one), so you feel like you have to. If only…If only people made the choice to quit a bad habit. You shouldn’t make the choice to quit a bad habit when you are forced to. You should make the choice to quit a bad habit (whatever your habit may be, we all have them), when you are in possession of, or in the environment of, your bad habit. This should be your conscious choice to quit even when it is available for you. This will make you stronger in the end when having to be around it in the future. Just because you’re choosing to stop something, doesn’t mean everyone around you is going to choose that as well. You shouldn’t make the choice to quit a bad habit when you are forced to be without it, because you don’t have money, someone else is stopping you from doing it or due to any other divine circumstance that you are in no control of. (Example; not having money for a bad habit like smoking.) Most at this point would say, “Hey I am going to use this time quit”. You are only quitting because you are being forced into it by lack of funds, not because you want to. So when you have funds again you will smoke again. You have to want to. If only…If only people followed their dreams. You shouldn’t follow someone else’s dreams for you. Follow your dreams. You do you. Do what you’ve always wanted to.

As they say, if you find something you really love to do you will never really “work” a day in your life. Make your choice and know that even the smallest choices matter. Not making a choice is in itself, a choice! You shouldn’t follow someone else’s dreams for you. Some people didn’t follow their dreams in their own lives, so they are now using you as their second chance. Don’t make the same mistake as them, use your first chance, and use it wisely. Don’t live the life you wanted through someone else, in the end it isn’t you and you didn’t accomplish those things, they did. If only…If only people could be with someone for whom they are, not what they look like. You shouldn’t be with someone because you think you can change them, or only because they look good on your arm. You should be with someone for how they make you a better person when you’re with them and even when you’re not. For what you love about them, and even for their faults, because nobody is perfect. We are all perfectly imperfect. Nobody is a 100%. If you think of a person as a whole (100%) and they have everything you have ever wanted, but let’s say 20% of what you don’t want, then you still have an 80%. That’s pretty good, I think, (most of us our 80′s ourselves) but some people look at the 20% that the person they are with is missing, instead of looking at the 80% they currently have, and they end up cheating on them with someone who has that other 20% they think they are missing. The thing wrong with this is, sure you now have (for the moment, anyways) that 20% you thought were missing, but now you have chosen to cheat on your 80 with your 20 and you are left with 20% of what you want! You gave up the 80% you wanted, because of the 20% they were lacking, and ended up with 20% of what you wanted, now you’re 80% lacking. People should stop thinking about what they don’t have and start being thankful for what they do have, even if it is 80%. Never take the one you love for granted. You shouldn’t be with someone because you think you can change them into what you want them to be, because they can get you further in life, or because they give you money, cars, clothes, drugs or other material items (whatever those may be). If you want to go around and spend your life dating 20% percent of what you want, and being a 20% of what a person wants, that is up to you. Please leave us 80′s alone. Us 80′s , are looking for a relationship, marriage, family, kids and monogamy, the stuff we are looking to give!

If all you’re looking to give is sex, partying and dating multiple people, why bother thinking you are good enough to have an 80 in your life…. 20′s don’t deserve 80′s and 80′s don’t deserve 20′s.If only…If only people talked to friends on the street. You shouldn’t ignore them on the street, and act like you don’t know them, depending on who you may be with at the time. You should also talk to friends on the street (if you see them), if they are on your Face-book or other social network. Don’t pretend to be friends with someone on-line, then when you see them on the street pretend not to know them. Grow up! If you can’t say hi on the street, delete them off your Face-book. You shouldn’t ignore them on the street and act like you don’t know them, but then rape their wall and statuses with comments, likes and responses. Why bother? Most people see that you talk to them on-line anyway, so who cares if someone sees you talking to them on the street?!?! If you are ashamed for some reason to talk to them in public why have them on your friend list at all. If only…If only people took responsibility for their own actions. You shouldn’t deny your actions, or lie to cover your actions. You should take responsibility for your own actions. If you did it, own up to it, and if you didn’t, make it known. Part of growing up is to own up. Most people have their own opinions of you, true or not and that, frankly, is none of your business. The only opinion that matters is your own. You know what you have done and not done in your life; you have been there for all of it, are true to yourself no matter what and if you don’t like something about yourself, well, change it, knowing that you’re worth the work. If you lie or cover up your actions, it will hurt you in the end and probably someone who doesn’t deserve it. “You only lie when you’re afraid of something or someone,” said John Gotti. Grow up and learn from your mistakes, that’s why they happened. If only…If only people did everything they say they’re going to do. Be true to your word. You shouldn’t commit to things you know yourself, you can’t do. Don’t procrastinate. Don’t put off those important things you want to get done.

You may not be around as long as you think. You shouldn’t take on too much. You’ll become overwhelmed. Learn to say no. Don’t make promises you can’t keep, your word should never be broken. Learning to say no to things will help you keep your word most often. If only…If only people said what they meant and meant what they say. You shouldn’t speak without thinking; it really is like shooting without aiming. You should say what you mean and mean what you say. Words can never be taken back, no matter how much you wish they could be. Even in anger, it doesn’t make it right. How you see a person, love a person and respect a person, can all change in one moment, just because of words spoken out of anger? If only…If only people lived every day, as if they were dying. You shouldn’t waste away your talents (everybody has one). You should live everyday, as if you were dying, because in a sense, you are. It’s not about what you want to do or talk about doing but it’s about what you actually do. Sometimes it’s hard to find what it is you want to do with your life, and what it is you’re good at, but it is out there and trust that it is looking for you too.

How to Make Someone Fall in Love

Ok, we all know the basics of how to make someone like us: we have to look good, be well groomed, well dressed, and pleasant in conversation. We must be clever- this is very important, because if we are not clever nothing else will work long enough. Here is a person in front of you whom you like very much and want to be around, what can you do to make it work, to make it beautiful, interesting?

Take a mental inventory of a person you are trying to impress/ make fall in love with you. Pay attention to their clothes, their words, their body language, and their actions. What kind of person is he/she? What do they want? What is missing in their life? The more detailed is your answer the better chances you have of making them fall in love. Know who you are dealing with before engaging in any kind of relationship. The information about who the person really is will not present itself unless you learn to observe and listen, let others talk and act, your job is to sit back, listen, watch and filter the information until you get a precise picture of what is going on and who is the person in front of you. The most important question you must answer: Is the person I am trying to impress/make fall in love cleverer than I am? I am not talking about the college education, or scientific background, I am talking about how transparent you are to the other person, how well they can read you, and how well they can use you without you knowing it. If you establish they are cleverer than you, which by the way very few of us can successfully do, your best bet is to stay away from them, you are just a lamb trying to get a wolf’s attention. You must find someone on your intelligence level or below. You should never attempt to seduce someone cleverer than you, you are putting yourself at a disadvantage, but what if you misperceived someone’s intelligence level and took someone cleverer than you for someone who is not? I’m sorry to say- you are going down. You have an impossible challenge in front of you- to impress someone, to offer useful, clever information, insight they don’t possess, offer them on a silver platter something they have never realized- in other words dazzle them with your wit and prospects. As you go about your business impressing them with your stupidity, you will be inadvertently tipping them off on how they can use you, not necessarily for sex, and then easily dispose of you, and you will never see it coming. You must learn to read people; you must gauge correctly their level of intelligence. You have to play the game; you must make it interesting for them. You must have something to offer and it must be better than that offered by others.

Relationship Repair

Repairing relationship requires much time and real endeavors to be fruitful. That’s why not everyone can succeed in healing relationship wounds easily. Luckily, recovering relationship with your Ex is not desperate but it’s not the task that you can complete alone and quickly. Deep reasons for your break-up will determine what proper measures for you to follow are.

So you should begin with finding the cause of the break down. You may find that a lot of small things have contributed to the break up. It is much easier to fix one big problem. But fixing several small things will require a lot of effort and patience. In either case, you need to put in the efforts, if you are keen on healing relationship wounds.

After figuring out what went wrong, you should honestly examine your own role and the extent of your contribution to the break up.
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Wanting to get back together with your ex? Answer this get back together quiz to work out your next step in repairing your relationship and getting back together for good — before it’s too late! This will be a hard task for many people because no one likes to admit his or her mistakes. Even if you know that you have done a wrong, you may believe that the other person provoked you. But if your focus is on fixing things, you should not hesitate to own up your mistakes irrespective of what or who might have led you to commit them. Please remember you need to be not just honest, but brutally honest in evaluating yourself, if you have to zoom in on the real factors that caused the breaking up of the relationship.

It is not only actions but also words that might have played a big a role in a broken relationship. Words are as powerful as and sometimes more powerful than actions. It is well known that words can inflict deep wounds, which are difficult to heal.

The next thing is to decide what you need to do to fix the problems and commit yourself to investing the time required to work on this task. Healing relationship wounds will invariably involve changing your behavior. If you are not willing to accept this change, you may as well give up your efforts!

But whatever you do will have no effect unless your partner is also willing to work on the relationship. If you are not both committed to making it work, it is better to abandon the idea of healing relationship wounds and accept the break up as final.

You also need to be aware that even after you save your relationship, the scars left by the break up will remain for a long time and you both should accept this fact. But you can still make your life memorable by loving each other sincerely, with no expectations or conditions.

How to Make Someone Fall in Love

Ok, we all know the basics of how to make someone like us: we have to look good, be well groomed, well dressed, and pleasant in conversation. We must be clever- this is very important, because if we are not clever nothing else will work long enough. Here is a person in front of you whom you like very much and want to be around, what can you do to make it work, to make it beautiful, interesting?

Take a mental inventory of a person you are trying to impress/ make fall in love with you. Pay attention to their clothes, their words, their body language, and their actions. What kind of person is he/she? What do they want? What is missing in their life? The more detailed is your answer the better chances you have of making them fall in love. Know who you are dealing with before engaging in any kind of relationship. The information about who the person really is will not present itself unless you learn to observe and listen, let others talk and act, your job is to sit back, listen, watch and filter the information until you get a precise picture of what is going on and who is the person in front of you. The most important question you must answer: Is the person I am trying to impress/make fall in love cleverer than I am? I am not talking about the college education, or scientific background, I am talking about how transparent you are to the other person, how well they can read you, and how well they can use you without you knowing it. If you establish they are cleverer than you, which by the way very few of us can successfully do, your best bet is to stay away from them, you are just a lamb trying to get a wolf’s attention. You must find someone on your intelligence level or below. You should never attempt to seduce someone cleverer than you, you are putting yourself at a disadvantage, but what if you misperceived someone’s intelligence level and took someone cleverer than you for someone who is not? I’m sorry to say- you are going down. You have an impossible challenge in front of you- to impress someone, to offer useful, clever information, insight they don’t possess, offer them on a silver platter something they have never realized- in other words dazzle them with your wit and prospects. As you go about your business impressing them with your stupidity, you will be inadvertently tipping them off on how they can use you, not necessarily for sex, and then easily dispose of you, and you will never see it coming. You must learn to read people; you must gauge correctly their level of intelligence. You have to play the game; you must make it interesting for them. You must have something to offer and it must be better than that offered by others.