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Is Love over When the ‘Spark’ is Gone?

May 29, 2013 by 1 Comment

Are you one of that who is being dumped or who feels that it may be time to break up because the “Spark” just isn’t there like it used to be?

What happened?  Where did the Spark go that he/she used to feel for and with me, or why don’t I feel it anymore?  Is it a sign that it wasn’t really real Love like when we first met?  Do we feel like there’s just something that is missing that cannot be found?  Will he/she ever find a “Lasting” Love where the “Spark” doesn’t fade or die?  Why do we feel like we are dying inside now that we have been dumped and can’t go on without this person or recover?

Medical Science has Interesting Evidence that Love is a Drug…

Medical Science has performed numerous brain imagine experiments on people’s brains during times when they were feeling deeply in love with that certain euphoric feeling of intense pleasure and happiness, and also on brains of people who were still together in a love relationship long after the highly romantic early stages, and also on brains of those who were experiencing deep depression and pain due to being dumped.

Is that old saying, or maybe it was a song title too, “Love is a Drug,” really true?  Medical Science says it is!  There is even a scientific hypothesis that, “Romantic loves is a specific form of addiction.”  The big connection between this widely known connection between Love and Pleasurable Addiction has everything to do with some key brain chemicals: Dopamine & Norepinephrine (the feel good, pleasure promoting brain chemicals) can also cause: the exhilaration, single-mindedness, and even sleeplessness experienced in the new phases of romantic love, and resulting decreased levels of Serotonin can send our mind racing toward obsession.  Elevated Dopamine levels in the brain cause the same sensations as caused by certain drugs (cocaine, nicotine, marijuana, opiates, PCP, and etc…) such as “focused attention, fierce energy, concentrated motivation to attain a reward, and feelings of elation and mania,” and also the Drug called Love!   Yes, new Romantic Love triggers high release of Dopamine and other brain chemicals in the brain, and the effects are often described as similar to a Cocaine high and they are felt so too.

 Can we keep the Romantic, Euphoric “High” or Spark forever; is it even possible?

Neither natural or synthetic Chemical highs last forever, but like common drug addiction, a kind of natural tolerance develops, and the epidemic of short-lived romantic passionate love affairs today that many times end after a year or two, are associated with the natural levelling out of brain chemicals.  When the intoxicating chemicals begin level out, this is often spelling the end of the delirious passions, which are being understood so greatly today as a loss of Love.   There are 2 general responses that can occur as a result of these neuro-chemical changes:

1.  Some people continue to move from relationship to relationship after the initial
euphoric high levels out and there are terms being used today such as, “attraction
junkies,” and “infatuation addicts,” to describe those who continue a pattern of
running after the hits the romantic high, or…

2.  Some go on into the next mature level or kind of Compassionate Love.

From Early Romantic Love to Mature Compassionate Love

CLICK IF YOU WANT TO BE MORE PASSIONATE!

A very notable difference between these 2 kinds of Love can be described by how the newer passionate romantic love is more about how the other person makes you feel, and the longer enduring Mature Love transforms into loving the other person as he or she is.  There are different chemicals noted that have effects as far as supporting this second phase of love and one such type are called Endorphins.  Endorphins:  In comparison to the new romantic highs that chemicals like Dopamine provide, Endorphins are a natural opiate type hormone that our body produces itself that contributes to:

Compassionate type love bonding, even such as like friend to friend, mother or
father to child, or kin spirit to kin spirit, so to speak.  It influences the kind of
bonding that has to do with maturing trust, respect, and growth, in mature love.  It
has even been termed, “endorphin bonding,” and typifies the soft and smooth
cooperation of two soul mates enfolding and absorbing together the hard things
and challenges of life in a buffering type relationship. It can be described as two
individual people coming together and growing into each other without being
suffocating or parasitic.

The suffering of Anguish of Romantic Rejection

To be dumped or rejected by someone we love and have developed a romantic bond with has been compared to the experience of suffering withdrawals from Cocaine, including all the driving cravings that come with it.  Brain imagines studies have revealed that those who are still in love with their “rejecters,” are exhibiting goal-oriented motivation rather than a specific emotion,” (Science Daily, 2010).  This would speak of all the strategies we feel driven toward to get the object of our love back or maybe the high we felt with them.  If these cravings of withdrawal extend beyond average or normal boundaries, which can happen sometimes when feelings are extremely painful and we lose any control over them and/or our behaviours, people are driven to stalking sometimes or again various levels of depression and sometimes suicide.

 Recovery from being dumped & finding Help

Research has shown evidence that Time heals all wounds; brain studies also show an area in the brain related to “attachment” that showed less activity after a level of time since the breakup.  It’s not an easy process and can be extremely or even dangerously hard for some people.  The emotional dilemma and pain of a broken love-relationship is publicly recognized and there is a variety of sources of help, both in the community and even online.   It’s always a good idea to talk to somebody! You can talk to me…

There is a need today not only to understand the difference between new and euphoric Romantic Love and Mature Love, but also the differences between healthy love relationships and unhealthy ones which can proceed out of some psychological disorders or flavours such as:  Dependent Personality or even Sex Addiction, which is also a common occurrence today.

THE PASSION PROGRAMME – CLICK!

There is an identified trend today toward not making it or not understanding the changing nature of Romantic Love into Mature Love, so that there are healthy Relationships that are ending because some or many are interpreting the decline in the initial Romantic “Spark” or “High” as a decline in Love.  I think there is a big Need today for us to learn and understand more about what Mature Love is and how it grows and becomes the kind of enduring long term Love that so many need and want to be able to build a life around that will lead to long term fulfilment and true happiness in life. We can do it, just require understanding and patience. Long live love!!!

Adopted from my friend on Relationship Talk (Kimberley)

Filed Under: General Chat, Love, Relationships, Single Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Twelve Anti-Rules For Love

May 25, 2013 by Leave a Comment

It is that time of year when love is in the air, the festivals.  We have family dinners, we go shopping and there is just this something about this time when you are alone it just feels so lonely. I have done it with family and I have done it alone and if I had to choose, who are we kidding, it would be to be with the ones I love.

We can find them on several websites, the twelve Anti-Rules for Love and I honestly think it makes sense. There are some other things we should know, but at least this is a start, we all should know this, I personally think it would help in guiding us in a direction for love.

1. Stop trying so hard.

Give up your efforts to force love into a self-help cast. It will never fit, no matter how much you struggle. The only thing you’ll achieve are blisters in your brain. And love is not a Rubik’s Cube either. You can’t solve its riddles by clicking the red, blue, green, yellow, etc., pieces neatly into place. You’ll only get blisters on your fingers. So give yourself the heavenly permission to let love do the heavy lifting all by itself. Not only will this feel great, but it will save you a fortune in therapist and manicure fees.

2. Stop being so cautious.

Love is one of those human experiences where caution is overrated. If you want to be safe, go shopping at Zara with your best friend. The worst that can happen to you there is that you won’t be able to resist the adorable little black dress on sale. But when it comes to love, don’t expect caution to get you anywhere. Applying caution to love is like driving uphill with your emergency brake on. You might be able to keep going for a while, but eventually, you’ll need to find a mechanic.

Click to Find the Root Cause for a Break Up.

The more time you spend analyzing your love life, the less time you’ll have left for loving. You’ll give yourself a splitting headache. So save yourself the trouble and don’t try to think it through. Except, of course, when you start to get that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, that tells you that something is seriously wrong. If you begin to feel injured, damaged, offended, or nauseated, feel free to think yourself right out the door. Counsellor in a Box.

4. Stop expecting your partner to act like you.

Unless, of course, you’re ready to be dragged through the city streets by your hair. The great thing is that when you stop insisting that your guy/girl is the direct descendant of an ape, you might end up with someone as glossy as Gossip Girl’s Nate. Okay. Maybe not the actual Nate. But someone who is willing to furrow their brow, flash a smile, and chatter away just like the real one.

5. Stop apologizing for being strong.

This one is worth repeating like a mantra: Stop apologizing for being strong and self-sufficient. Men worth dating are much more likely to want precisely these qualities than artificial displays of feminine neediness. There isn’t much that’s more pathetic than guys who need to put women down in order to convince themselves of their masculine valour. Who needs these guys?

6. Stop being afraid to have needs and vulnerabilities.

Being strong doesn’t mean that you’re Supergirl, or even Lois Lane. You have needs. You have vulnerabilities. You even have episodes of hopelessness. You have moments when you want a strong shoulder to lean on. But so does your partner. Having someone compassionate to turn to during times of breakdown is worth more than Superman’s red cape. Your partner knows this as well as you do. That’s why they are with you.

7. Stop running after someone who doesn’t want you.

There’s no point in pursuing a reluctant man/girl. You’ll only get a cramp in your side. And then your heart starts to hurt. You’ll lose your confidence. You’ll begin to doubt your desirability. You’ll get your hair done so often that half of it falls out. Your friends start plotting an intervention. Before they get to it, it’s time to stage your own. If you need to fly to Moscow to stop chasing that guy/girl, do so. You absolutely deserve a person who meets you halfway.

8. Stop looking for a partner without issues.

Everyone has issues. And persons with some complicated ones are often more interesting than those whose main issue is choosing the right pair of loafers in the morning. Do you require your- self to be completely free of issues-completely devoid of doubts, anxieties, insecurities, uncertainties, and ambivalence? No? So I thought. Why, then, would you expect your partner to be like a new-born babe with no history or human hesitation?

9. Stop manipulating the partner you love.

Focus on building a complex character. Make some money. Get going with your career. Learn Italian. Take up cross-country skiing. Bake five thousand cookies. Hand them out to everyone from your boss to the cute FedEx delivery guy. If you need a project, treat your life like a work of art. Try to make a masterpiece out of it. But don’t do this to the partner you’re dating. Once he/she realizes that you’ve turned your relationship into a papier-mâché project, they’ll resent you. Alot.

10. Stop regretting every false step you ever took.

It’s hard to get things right in love. People get hurt. You get hurt. You end up hurting your partner. No matter how much you try to protect yourself from such mishaps, they happen. They happen if you actually love rather than just playing house with someone you kind of like. Missing your step, and even missing your way, is part of love’s reality. It forces you to reassess the path you’re on. It asks you to make some modifications. This is its way of shaping your soul.

11. Stop thinking of loss as a pure loss.

Keep in mind that we rarely lose valuable things without getting something in return. The payback may be slow in coming. And some- times it’s hard to even recognize it as such. But if you wait long enough, even the worst loss is likely to bring a compensation. If nothing else, it purifies your character so that when the next hot person comes along, you’ll have enough charisma to magnetize this person. They’ll be so smitten that they’ll fly you to Tahiti on a vacation for two. You’ll pay for the hotel room, of course. You’re not a charity case. Not you.

In a conversation I was having with a friend, she shared something with me that I really never sat down and thought about, she said, “Women were groomed to suppress and please their men”, the more I thought about it, the more sense it made, so after a couple years in the relationship her true colours are coming up the guys normally wonder who is this person that they got married to or is dating, so my answer to that is, just be yourself  and since we said twelve, then we go back to the first: Stop trying so hard. There you go. These are your twelve anti-rules. They won’t guarantee your everlasting happiness. They won’t even guarantee a ring on your finger. And, alas, they definitely won’t guarantee that Tom Welling will super-speed to your side when the going gets tough. But they’ll guarantee that you will have lived. Boldly. Bravely. Audaciously. Like a true lover.

The above is an excerpt from The Case For Falling in Love, by Mari Ruti, Ph.D., published by Sourcebooks Casablanca. Republished with permission.

Filed Under: General Chat, Love, Relationships Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Putting Your Life on Pause

May 25, 2013 by 101 Comments

Couples usually pause or take time to “get some space” when there are serious problems in the relationship. Most times it is one person in the relationship who wants it and is putting down the other person slowly, to be honest, I am one who believe that when you are in a serious relationship, putting space, or asking for a pause is not the best thing to do in a relationship when two persons are serious and want to resolve issues.

Believe it or not this thing call pause is necessary to our growth and development. I am talking to myself, because for a long time I have been in and out of relationships determine to find the perfect girl for me, even got married and that failed, explore the reason for the failure and still found it difficult until I decided to take a pause.

If things are bad enough to pause, they’re bad enough to just call it quits, as it relates to a relationship, but I think we all need a pause not from life, but to stop sometimes and analyze who we are and what we want. What I wanted 10 years ago is different from what I want now, I do not think so, but I have grown and my value system is different and so the need for a pause.

Some people use the space and pause as a prelude to a breakup. They are cowards and its easier to call it quits if you are not happy in a relationship, because a pause changes nothing, but when you break clean is when you can now pause to evaluate what went wrong, make the correction, no strings or time constraint, and this is what I will suggest.

Take a deep breath:

LET GO! and allow your life to happen

Breathing is important because it is your life force. It is the way oxygen enters your body to be used by your blood cells for energy. When your blood cells don’t have enough oxygen, they move sluggishly. If your cells are sluggish, they are slow to bring food to the many different areas of your body. If your body doesn’t have enough nutrition, it can’t work properly. The end result is that you feel fatigued, stressed, sick and often can’t think straight. How many times have you felt that you can’t concentrate until you get some food into your stomach? You have to breathe.

Learn to Relax:
Relaxing involves allowing your body to calm itself down. It puts your mind, body and spirit at rest. Relaxing removes stress and allows your muscles to repair themselves. In this day and age, with so much hustle and bustle, we hardly ever give ourselves the permission to rest. Even after a grueling exercise regimen, experts suggest that you take off one day for every three to five to allow yourself time to recuperate. We stretch and tear our muscles during activity. This is why so many people are suffering from Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS). We never take the time to just sit and relax. So relax and let your mind, body and spirit heal itself from that breakup or the loss of a job, or even being in a stress related environment.

Learn to Think:
Thinking invites clarity and focus. We can solve problems, make decisions and hear what our bodies are telling us. We can concentrate on specific issues that may be plaguing us in the form of worries. That dedicated time yields resolutions because you are relaxed. Your mind is quieted from all other noise and distraction. Your complete attention is devoted to the problem at hand. You can be more creative and inspired to determine a solution.

meditation

Learn how to meditate

Meditation:
Meditation does not have to be difficult. It does not have to be an intensive task. You can do it in as little as five minutes. Its purpose is to bring clarity, improve health and achieve balance. To this end, you should find it much easier to incorporate meditation into your life. Simply breathe, relax and think.

Now that you have that knowledge, the next thing is you will want to know is how long should I pause from getting into another relationship? That answer is entirely up to you, but there are some thing you will love to do before you do it again.

Listening to music is the great!
Faster, major keys cool your brain, which lifts your mood and helps you stay happy during your pause. You know what songs work for you: find music from a different, happier era of your life. Don’t know what to listen to? Read The Best Songs for Broken Hearts, not that your heart is broken, but that is where you will find some cool songs during your pause.

Paint, arrange photographs, sculpt, or draw
Making art strengthens your sense of self and contributes to feelings of normalcy. Plus, it’s relaxing to focus on being creative — and it’ll help you during your pause by distracting you from your emotions. Creativity increases serotonin levels and reduces stress; it also improves blood pressure and heart rate. Anything artistic can help create you create a new identity and even let go of someone you love. That is what has led me to you, now I write and write.

Skip the evening news – your pause sometimes need time to itself
Ongoing exposure to depressing, negative information can make you paranoid, anxious and physically unhealthy – and the news will not keep you happy during your pause. Skipping the evening news will help you produce fewer stress-related hormones that contribute to high blood pressure, depression, digestive disorders, and a weaker immune system. The healthier you are, the faster you’ll heal during your pause.

massage

Sensual Massage

Get a massage – it does more than alleviate sore muscles
To maximize the time in your pause, make sure you get lots of healthy touch! Emotional struggles, such as depression and eating disorders, are positively affected by massage because it reduces the amount of cortisol in your system and promotes an overall sense of well-being. According to the Massage Therapy Association of Manitoba, “massage promotes elimination of waste products, improves flow of nutrients to body tissues, and increases circulation to all parts of the body.” The healthier and happier you feel, sooner you’ll you will be ready to move out of your pause zone.

Imagine a bright, loving, hopeful future
Guided imagery involves three steps: 1) relaxing; 2) focusing on pain; 3) replacing painful feelings with healthy images. Visualizing what you want your future to look like can help you achieve your goals – and it floods your body with positive chemicals and feelings. Most physical, emotional and behavioral symptoms are affected by your thoughts and attitude; positive images can help you during your time in pause mode.

Eat Your Vegetables
Eating nutritiously and taking care of your body is difficult when you’re in pain or grieving – but it’s when you’re down and out that your body needs nutrition the most. Avoid refined sugar, heavy meats, processed foods, and caffeine because they make you feel sluggish and tired, which will not help you survive during the pause – especially if you’ve split up with your partner. Eat fish, whole grains, raw nuts, seeds, beans, legumes, wild rice and of course plenty of fruits and vegetables.

Explore museums and solve crossword puzzles
Using your brain to get into the flow of an activity – whether it’s exploring an art gallery or solving a Sudoku puzzle – will help you during your time of pause. Interestingly enough my mother was very stressed and as a result was forgetting everything we told her, we panicked and decided she was on the verge of having the Alzheimer’s disease. It was amazing to see, when she got some rest and did crosswords puzzles, she was a different woman. When you’re focused on a puzzle or intellectual pursuit you’re not thinking about your pain or ex-partner, or what your new partner will be. This tip for surviving during your pause will certainly help you in meeting new people…

Dig into your spirituality – it increases optimism and positive feelings
Pursuing spirituality within a group (a church or synagogue, for instance) increases your social support system, coping skills, and self-image. Recently, researchers found that even people who pray online have fewer negative emotions and higher levels of well-being. If you’re surviving a breakup, try connecting to God or the universe. You’ll feel less fearful and anxious, which will improve your health and immune system. Being a leader in my church circles was the main things that took me through my time of despair and healing.

Strive for balance
If you’re frantically juggling personal, professional, volunteer and social activities, there’s no doubt that your emotional health will suffer and you’ll have a hard time surviving during your pause mode. Overdoing it can also include spending too much time alone watching tv, lying in bed, or sleeping too much. Balance means leaving work or volunteer duties to spend time with family and friends – or pulling away from family and friends to read, walk, or pursue a new hobby. When your relationship ends, you need to take care of yourself by adding balance to your life. The pause mode is where you find all this by listening to your body. I just want to let you know, that I never believe it could be this good being by myself and now I am sure my next partner will be happy to have the new me.

Inspired by Philip W.

Filed Under: General Chat, Relationships, Single Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Marriage Problems: Some Words you Do NOT Say to Your Partner

May 21, 2013 by 19 Comments

E005267“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will not harm me”, are some things we would say as kids when our friends would laugh and tease, but as I grew older I learned that was further from the truth. Words are powerful, because they can cut you, heal you, inspire you and even stop you from doing something that could hurt you. Learning the language of relationships takes time and diligence.  Saying some words regularly may cause damage and some words, I have discovered, when used in marriage and relationships can destroy the foundation on which the love was sown.  Some of these words are:

  1. Divorce. Never look at your partner and threaten them with divorce, suggest it as an option, or accusing your spouse of destroying the marriage.  As these words will lead to just that. A divorce is a very serious decision, and using it as a weapon or method of control creates anxiety and despair. It does not matter how angry you are, it would be better not to say the word divorce to your partner, if that is not what you truly want. When you feel like you should get a divorce, seek out a professional counsellor to listen to the reasons that you have.  Make a list of the good and bad things about your partners and seek to focus on strengthening the good.  Wait, for your anger to subside and give yourself an opportunity to gain a wider vision of the relationship.
  2. Swear Words. You know them, I do not have to put them in this article, but never tell your partner words that you cannot say on the pulpit/altar. Attacking your partner by calling them names will cause irreparable damage. Doing this regularly will surely destroy your partner’s self-esteem and eventually kill your marriage. Outright disrespect has no place in your marriage.
  3. But. I know what you are thinking, this is such a small word, how could this hurt, it just does. When you are married to a person and they express their feelings, don’t say “but” as soon as they stop talking.  No matter what the discussion.  When you use the word, “But” you negate all that was said before. It invalidates your message and turns a positive statement into a negative one. It’s a conjunction that does not lend itself to building trust, credibility and intimacy.
  4. Always. In a relationship when one person is not as good as the other person at something, we tend to use the word “Always”.  You are telling your partner that they are wrong, you are right, and that there’s nothing they can do about changing it.  For example, “You always leave the toilet seat up!” Even if it is true, try a little kindness and drop the “always”, if you want to get to understanding, learning, or healing.
  5. Never. That word never, lends itself to hopelessness, and finality. When you use the word “Never” you are telling your partner there is no hope for change. It is all or nothing and the only way to escape that feeling for the partner is to run away. Using the word “Never” does not lend itself to listening, compromising and creating good will.

bELIEVEThis is important for you to grasp, and exercise in order to learn new ways of communicating that are fun. Do not focus on “it will not be easy”. Consider what you want to communicate to your partner, how you would love your relationship/marriage to be. Create a powerful and loving intention rather than one that is meant to hurt, control, scare and push away the person you love. Just remember the feelings you have are just a part of your natural defence mechanism and the person you are with wants to feel good, just as much as you do.

I know the feeling of wanting things to change so much and just this feeling of being trapped, but all of that can change just by saying to your partner, I notice that when I (……), your react by (……). When you do (……), I feel (…..). It would mean a lot to me if you would (……), because when you do, I feel (……). I want our marriage to feel good to both of us. How can we approach things in a way that makes us both feel heard, appreciated, accepted and loved?

HEART TO HEARTIf you both are interested, you can start by reading books on method of communicating, and trust me there is no one book that will do that magic, but the book is really just a medium for bonding, then when you are done you can tweak the rules to suit you both. It is a cycle that relationships will go through, all we need is information that will help us to correct the bad habits we have formed all our lives, and allow us the freedom to enjoy our relationships, bottom-line.

 

Filed Under: General Chat, Love

7 Ways to manage your anger

May 16, 2013 by 3 Comments
anger

The Power of Mindfulness

There are those times in our lives when we look   back and wonder in hindsight what if I had acted differently, what would have   been the outcome of this situation or that.  Do you have a short fuse or find yourself frequently arguing and fighting with your partner? Anger is normal, healthy emotion,   but when chronic, explosive anger spirals out of control, it can have serious consequences for your relationships, your health, and your state of mind.   With insight about the real reasons for your anger and these tips that I will share, you can learn to keep your temper from hijacking your life.

 

I actually grew up in an era that encouraged us to let it out! not keep it inside or it will destroy us, no one provided us with information for what we needed to do when we found ourselves with a feeling that we could not manage. Here are 7 tips that has helped me over the years:

 1.   Try to understand why you are angry.

anger 2It   is important to understand that you have reached the point where you will get   angry. If a particular situation or a person is causing you anger, talk the   matter with someone you trust. A faithful friend, a specialist, your doctor or psychologist can talk with you and help you. Not all the time you will have   someone to talk to, but you can plan ahead, so first you need to tell   yourself that even when angry, there are something you are not going to do or   say.

2.   Try to rest and relax.

Rest   can put things in proper perspective. The relaxation can be achieved with a   walk or just to sit quietly in a quiet environment. Listening to music, reading a book, watching a film, taking a bath, swimming, yoga are activities   that can help you relax.

Too   often people forget to devote time to relax. It is important every day to save some time for relaxation. Choose activities that you enjoy to do at that   time, so plan relaxation time into your schedule.

Relaxation to Deal with Anger: Free Relaxation Script

3.   Violence is no solution to anger.

anger 3

Finally Anger Free?

Sometimes   it happens that someone makes you angry so much that you make a verbal attack on him/her. Violence can also be a way to externalize your frustration when you do not know why you may have been upset. This is dangerous because it can lead to acts that have consequences.

To be ready to prevent the expression of violence when you are angry, write a   list of conditions, people or things that cause you irritation. After you record all the things that can make you angry consider ways to avoid them.   Consider also ways on how to prevent yourself from acting violent. If you   reading this then this is a start.

4.   Everyone in their lives have disagreements or disputes.

The reasons for your disagreement with someone else are many. For example it can  be hard to understand the thoughts of someone else on a given subject. In   such cases, try to make then talk about how they see things. Listen to the person’s   point of view, not listen to answer, because all of us have a point to make.

Also the values, needs and goals are likely to contrast with those of someone else.

It is not unusual misunderstandings and disagreements between people to arise because they do not understand well what other are trying to do or try to say.

5. Not every conflicts and misunderstandings can be solved.

The misunderstandings and conflicts that are not solved can create confusion and a sense of challenge. We need to recognise 200215260-001that not all conflicts and misunderstanding can be solved, but with acceptance we can continue to relate with someone that we disagree with.

We have to get to the bottom of this syndrome can lead to stress, tension, insomnia, diseases, poor quality relationships, aggression or violence and family breakdown.

6.   Address conflicts at a personal level.

If there is a conflict with another person is very easy to keep the anger and   tension between the two. It is particularly important to solve the dispute   especially if they are people who see each other often, otherwise this can create a very unpleasant situation.

In   such cases talking to the person you have a dispute with can either be   helpful or not. If you try to approach this person, make sure that you do it   in a way that will help.

If   you are afraid that this person may become violent or offensive, try not to approach them directly. Initially try to speak to them on the phone, email,   facebook etc., to see if they are willing to find a solution to the problem   between you and them.

You   can tell that person how you feel because of his own opinion, but do not try   to tell him/her how he/she should feel. It is possible in such situation to   either agree or disagree with him/her.

In   some cases it is useful to have a third person help you resolve the conflict.  The third person could serve as a bridge between you and others and help each party understand the views of others.

7.There are significant advantages of resolving disputes.

You have many reasons why you should try to negotiate and resolve a dispute or conflict with someone.

Initially you will get the feeling that you have achieved something important and will make you feel more positive. You will feel

Change IS possible

Change IS possible

more comfortable, more relaxed,   and healthier and you will have a good sleep at night. It is never   about the other person we forgive, it is about us.

Additionally   it will help you to build stronger relations and more generally will make you   feel happy.

In conclusion it is important that you learn to express your anger and your nerves in a safe manner. The activities that help you relax can be a good way to manage your anger better. Resolving differences with others will make you feel more positive and happy.

Click on photos and find books that will help with anger management.

 

Filed Under: General Chat, Relationships Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

How To Make Your Relationship More Exciting

May 15, 2013 by Leave a Comment
fun couples

How to make your relationship more exciting

Throughout my professional career I’ve come across many people that were lacking excitement in their relationship. Many of them have experienced some form of it in the beginning of their relationship- but they all seem to ask me the same question…”where did all the fun go…and how can I get it back?”

I know that when you’re starting a new relationship it may be fun, exciting, and there are few arguments (if any). Someone even compared it to buying a new car and having that new car smell. But what

happens after all the fun stops?

Here’s what you can do to get the fun back:

“Magic Relationship Words That Make Sure You Say It Right Every Time In Any Situation With Your Partner, Spouse or Lover– No More Conflicts That Last Forever, Stonewalling or Nasty Arguments…”

spark

50 Secrets of a Blissful Relationship

1. Show your creative side. When it comes to making a successful, long-lasting relationship, sometimes we need to think outside of the box. Coming up with fresh ideas for love and romance (or even where the next place you’ll go to spend time together) could be the key to keeping your relationship thrilling.

2. Get Spontaneous. Do things “just because”. Surprise your partner by planning a nice romantic getaway. Summer is here, so no traveling around this time may be very enjoyable for the both of you.

3. Talk to your partner. Find out from your partner why your relationship is starting to get boring. Are there things going on in his/her life (bills, work, etc) that’s stressing him/her out (this may be the reason for the lack of excitement)? Or is he/she just plainly losing interest in the relationship? Communicate with your partner to find out what’s going on and then take it from there.

successful marriage 1

MAGIC WORDS

Relationship Secrets of The Most Satisfied… Most Passionate… and Most Deeply Connected Couples in The World!

Whatever you need to do to make your relationship more exciting, then do it. You have to be the pro-active one if you want to get the love life that you desire.  There is no gain in pointing a finger and waiting on the other to make the first move, that is the killer of many relationships.

Filed Under: General Chat, Love Tagged With: , , , , ,
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